Sunday night, I sat in my living room with a small group of friends expecting to watch the Presidential Debates, but instead we found ourselves tuned in to the One Man Misogyny Olympics. Donald Trump, winner of the Cave Man Cognition medal, the Menacing Lady Lurker medal and the Demigod of Demagoguery medal, is merely the latest spittle dripping from the larger carafe of backwash that has fed and kept the sport alive for as long human beings have existed. What was supposed to be an evening of conversation about ideas and solutions for the country between Mr. Trump and Hillary Clinton turned into an emotional beating before it had even begun.
Mere hours before that debate, I posted a very personal story to connect the illusory dots between words and actions pertaining to violence against women—the slim gateway between locker room talk and Brock Turner courtroom talk; the dots between three minutes of “just words” and “20 minutes of action.” As I watched Trump’s press conference with four women accusing Bill Clinton—the husband of Trump’s rival, Hillary Clinton—of harassment or assault, I had a moment of whatever the opposite of clarity is. I thought to myself: What is Misogyny? No, seriously, what the hell is it? Yes, we know the definition—an ingrained prejudice or distain around women—but how do you prove that? The ingrained part? How do you point to it, reveal it, grab it by its Pussy Bow and show those who cannot see it what it is—how it lives and breathes in the world? Why is it so hard to break through this massive glass roof that covers all the glass ceilings?
As enraging as Trump’s manipulative stunt was, his message and that of his supporters was clear: What Bill Clinton did is far worse than what Trump merely said. “Did.” “Said.” Seems ironic that the connection I and many others have made between words and actions is the very same rebuttal they are now using as a defense. The pot calls the kettle something it would like to move on like a bitch. But their reasoning is deeply flawed, for a variety of reasons. What we now know more positively in the last 24 hours is that Trump’s words are definitely not just words, as The New York Times has since reported the nauseating stories of several women who were allegedly inappropriately touched by the assault athlete himself. Then there is the horrifying account of a group of teenage girls that this presidential candidate walked in on while they were getting dressed.
But back to Bill Clinton and misogyny: The man is not running for President. Hillary Clinton is. Distorting her fealty to marriage vows and her loyalty to her family—something surely the family values voters on the right can understand—and implying that she is somehow a greater danger to women than Trump is deeply and horrifically wrong. ALL CAPS LEVEL WRONG. Some have also said that Hillary silenced the women her husband harassed, or that Hillary was angry and vengeful towards those women, and that she should have had their backs—speaking out against her husband—because: Women. Or that she couldn't make her man happy at home or in the bedroom, hence: those Women. Or she should’ve left Bill because: Women. Or she should've stayed with him only for political gain because: Women. Or she's in some kind of marital agreement with Bill because she’s a secret lesbian and prefers: Women.
Any of those theories can point to that single elusive word: Misogyny. What is it? No, seriously, what the hell is it, and how can you prove it exists?
Right now we want and need accountability on this particular topic—not from the Clintons, but from the unstable man who might get to dictate words and actions that pertain specifically to us, women, like say, the policies of our bodies. It is essential to remember that a piece of legislation (words!) can become law (action!) and we have to elect someone uniquely qualified to see how one can easily lead to the other.
Misogyny. What is it? And how can you prove it exists?
If you’re a woman in America there’s a 10 in 10 chance you’ve experienced it—whether you recognize it or not, whether you’re ready to admit it or not. It’s a culture that talks down to you. It’s a person, maybe a boss or a boyfriend, that wishes you would think more "rationally" and less "emotionally," that wholly dismisses women’s emotional intelligence as something we shouldn’t think with. It’s holding female presidential candidates to impossible standards far beyond those of male candidates. It’s a party nominee who, in one sentence, brings up the affairs of his opponent’s husband, and in the very next breath tells her she can speak first because he’s “a gentleman.”
Words. Actions. Trump is so tangled up in his own bending and shifting moral compass, he now walks the talk and talks the gutter talk-walk-talk. And misogyny weaves through the continuum of these words and actions.
Misogyny is deep and mercurial. It thrives in our country on a cellular level, right in front of our faces. It exists like goose bumps exist, like premonitions are felt, like earthquakes are predicted. And for those that don’t believe me, for those that can’t see it—and certainly can’t see it in Donald Trump, the man running for President of the United States—look at the woman you’re with. Or the one you raised. Or the one that raised you. Or the one you work alongside. Get your heart’s glasses a new prescription and take a long, hard look.
Amber Tamblyn is an actress, director, and best-selling author. She is also a resident poet at Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls. Leading up to the election, she’ll be contributing her thoughts on current issues for Glamour.com.
Source: http://www.glamour.com/story/yes-misogyny-exists-and-its-the-gift-that-keeps-on-grabbing
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